Finis Coronat Opus
by JaerWolfe
Summary: An ending for Kaet and Kaidan's story.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: For those who asked for one more Kaet and Kaidan story.**

* * *

The pain was a living, fiery agony that streaked through the left side of her body and exited her lungs with a hoarse scream. She crawled on her right side, seeking cover, seeking safety, left arm useless and curled to her torso.

She was dying. The great Commander Shepard had finally met the odds that burned the last of her luck.

He was going to be so mad at her.

* * *

 _ **Two weeks ago:**_

"You are not going."

Kaet Shepard blinked at the autocratic tone in her husband's voice. Rising from the duffle she was packing her diplomatic Ambassador Uniform in, she considered the man staring at her, arms crossed over his chest, a muscle clenching and unclenching in his jaw.

"You are six months pregnant, Kaet." The words were forced out between teeth that barely parted.

"And am therefore crippled?" She countered raising an eyebrow.

Kaidan opened his mouth quickly and glared at her as he visibly fought for control of his temper. "No." The word was strangled. "But a mission…"

"It's to gather intelligence…"

"It's Khar'shan! The batarian homeworld, Kaet!" His voice rose.

She inhaled deeply through her nose seeking calm. "Kaidan, the batarians are an all but dead species that…"

"An all but dead species that took a contract out on your life!"

"…the Council wants to find out if there is a way we can save them…" She continued as if he hadn't spoke but didn't get far.

"So they're sending you? The woman who took out an entire system of them? Kaet, that is utter stupidity from a council that has pulled some really boneheaded moves in the past. You can't go." He was almost vibrating, shaking with the force of his emotions as he faced her.

"It's a milk run, Kaidan." She tried again reminding herself that getting mad at the man for caring too much for her and her safety was a bit like shooting herself in the foot. "It's been years since the Reapers were defeated. The batarians deserve a chance to survive and if we can gather enough numbers, find enough of them and help them restore their planet, it can be one more win against the Reapers." She turned away. "And maybe helping them will help me sleep a bit easier at night." The words were mumbled, not really meant for him to hear.

He caught her arm and jerked her around with a bit more strength than either of them were expecting. "Guilt, Kaet? This is _guilt_? Now? All these years later, now you decide to grow a conscience about…"

She jerked her arm free. "Maybe I'd like to be able to look our child in the eye, Kaidan! Tell them that, yeah, mommy did bad things but she tried to do good things, too!"

"Oh, come on." Kaidan tossed his hands in the air. "This isn't about redemption, this about you being the Great Commander Shepard once more. This is about you needing a junky fix to remind yourself…"

The palm of her hand cracked across his cheek, turning his face to the side. A blue/black mist rose from his skin as his fists clenched but he remained in that position, his gaze on the far wall, his mouth compressed as the effort to manage his emotions became physically visible.

For a long, tension crammed moment there was silence. Both of them trying to gain control and step back before something was said that would never be unsaid.

"I am going." She said quietly. "Yeah, maybe part of it was me wanting to be out in the field again, out doing something, but right now I am so mad at you I'm going just to piss you off."

His face snapped toward her, his jaw clenched tight, his lips sealed shut as he took deep breaths through his nose staring at her with eyes full of fire and rage. Without another word he turned away from her, snatched up his jacket and stalked out of their home.

* * *

 _ **The Present**_

It shouldn't have been anger.

Her last sight of him.

It shouldn't have been him in one of his oh so rare rages. She should have stopped him, called him back, listened to his concerns and then explained her reasons for wanting to go. She should have tried to work it out with him instead of pushing the buttons only she knew him well enough to push knowing that rather than yell at her, rather than raise any kind of hand to her, he would simply walk away until he had more control.

What had been so damn important that she'd had to win this fight?

She tried to strangle the cry of pain as her one good arm collapse under her frame and she hit hard red rock. At least one broken leg, possibly two. No feeling at all in her left arm and she'd been wounded enough to know that the numbness was not a good sign. None of it compared to the wound in her gut though.

The bastard had shot her point blank in the belly that curved hard and firm over the growth of her child.

Tears leaked from her eyes but this time it was regret more than pain that drove them.

She had wanted this baby. Really, she had.

Almost as much as the whole thought scared her.

To feel the child grow in her, to know that another living person was in need of her protection and guarding in oh so different a way had thrilled her almost as much as it terrified her.

And she couldn't exactly share that with Kaidan, could she? That most of the time she wanted this baby more than anything in the universe except him but there were times she felt like an alien parasite was taking over her life and changing everything about her and she now had no choice in the matter because it wasn't like she could ask someone else to take over the pregnancy for her. That would have gone over really well.

But she had wanted this baby, _she had!_ Most of the time. She'd never wanted to be the reason the baby was killed.

He was going to be so angry at her. So disappointed. So sad.

Maybe it was worth dying not to have to face him again knowing he'd been right and her pride had gotten in the way of common sense.

Her eyes snapped open.

She couldn't die. She'd died on him once before and it had nearly broken him. Losing their baby would hurt him, but if he lost her as well…after the way they had parted…

With a strangled growl she lifted her chest again and began dragging her battered and bleeding body toward the mako once more. She ignored the charred smell of flesh and forced herself to crawl over the still forms of her Alliance guards and their batarian attackers.

She'd been so sure she could handle anything. After all, she'd faced the worst odds the galaxy could throw at a person and she'd come out on top. This should have been easy. She'd been cocky. She'd been so sure there was nothing she couldn't handle if she had her Widow in her hands.

When they'd been surrounded by the batarians who were supposed to be their escort and guides on this mostly dead and empty world and her favorite gun had been taken away she still hadn't worried. Not with her gilded tongue. She could persuade them, make them understand she was there to help them. That old angers, old grudges needed to be put in the past so they could move forward.

Gods, she was such an idiot.

Their leader had never bothered to identify himself. Never bothered to say a word before he walked up to her, aimed his gun at her belly and fired.

Then he'd spoke. Told her how he'd lost his entire family in the Bahak system when she'd destroyed the relay. Said how much he was going to love watching her die knowing her baby was already gone. The men and women of her guard had sprung into action then, knowing that there was no way any of them were going to get out of here alive through negotiation. They'd formed on her, circled her bleeding body in the dust, determined to protect her while trying to move her to the safety of the mako. Dragging her when a well aimed shot had hit her leg with enough force to shatter the bone in her thigh. Shoving their last medgel packs on her wounds when it was soon apparent that one wouldn't do. Falling one by one until only she was left.

But they'd taken damn near every single one of the batarians with them.

She'd managed to make a final stand sitting in her own blood, surrounded by a partial mound of bodies of both Alliance and batarian. Her Widow was long gone, taken from her in the opening moments of what should have been simple talks, but her aim with an assault rifle was just as deadly. Once she'd burned it out, she'd used her pistol until once again she was the only one living on a carnage filled field of battle.

She wasn't going to make it.

Too much blood. Too much grief.

She was starting to get cold, a very bad sign. Things were graying out on the edges and it was getting harder and harder to refocus. Once she realized she'd lost her path and was blindly crawling away from the mako, she gave up trying to move any further and lay still, gathering what strength remained with her. Emotional strength, not physical.

She would need to be strong to say goodbye.


	2. Chapter 2

Gods, he hated this place.

Kaidan stripped off his jacket and tossed it over the back of a tall counter chair…a move that would have pissed off his 'a place for everything and everything in its place' wife had she been anywhere nearby.

But she wasn't, was she?

The thought sneered out with petty anger before he could control it and he sighed pinching the bridge of his nose.

He'd known better than to give her an ultimatum. To order her around. There were times when Kaet Shepard Alenko, his wife, could be persuaded and reasoned with but all bets were off once _Commander Shepard_ was in the house.

His quiet, lonely house.

He missed her.

Their bed was too big and too empty. The warm and loving couch where they could sprawl after a long and grueling day was just a cold inanimate object. The room they had chosen to clear out of books and all the extra bits and bobs of an accumulated life together was just another work in progress, not a nursery where their baby would sleep.

This place was just a…just a _place_ when she was gone. Not a home. And he hated it.

He hated that the last words they'd shared here had been in anger.

If he'd just approached her differently. If he'd been calm and controlled and not so damned scared something would happen to her that he'd started ordering her to stay put he could have talked her out of going. He'd done it in the past. If nothing else, fifteen years of marriage had given him lots of practice at reasoning with his wife when she was being a pigheaded idiot.

A wry smile kicked up one corner of his mouth as he wondered when she called him when he was being a perfectly logical and practical voice of reason and still balking her. Maybe a jackass. Probably something worse. Fifteen years hadn't done that much to clean up her language. Fear of his mother had done a great job of it, but this was Shepard, after all.

The soft chime of the door alert was a welcome distraction from his thoughts and he moved to answer personally rather than use the house system.

Admiral Hackett's tall form, formal in his dress blues and cap, was such a surprise he barely noted the asari Councilor standing at his shoulder. The somber, pitying looks on their faces caught him off guard so badly he'd whipped about, showing them his back in a belated attempt to pretend they weren't there and didn't look so damn sad.

"She's fine." He muttered to himself, clenching his fists, his biotics flaring about him. The Gods couldn't be cruel enough to do this to him. Not again.

A warm hand cupped his shoulder, squeezing softly. "She's still alive, Spectre Alenko."

He jerked about. "Then why are you here?" He demanded, his face already wet.

Hackett glanced at his companion and then back to Kaidan. "They don't believe she'll stay that way long enough to get here to Huerta."

* * *

Had she been on any other ship, she might not have.

The _SSV Normandy SR-2_ had been state of the art twenty years ago and managed to maintain being cutting edge in a galaxy that was still trying to recover from the Reaper war. Any other ship wouldn't have even made the attempt, but the Normandy had been and would always be manned by those that considered Commander Shepard theirs and they would not let her down.

So he sat here, in Huerta, his wife mere walls away dying where they wouldn't let him see her.

The message tube was stained with blood and the red dust of a planet he'd never wanted her to go to and he careened emotionally between fury that she hadn't once in her damn life listened to him and pleading silently to talk to her one more time so he could beg her forgiveness. Promising that he would do anything, give anything, if she would just be alright, the baby with her.

Despairing, he stroked the play node and had a brief glimpse of his wife's pain ravaged and bleeding face against a backdrop of dead bodies and burning vehicles before the image disappeared but the audio continued. Deliberately shut off, he realized. She hadn't wanted him to see her condition.

"You were right." Her muffled words came from the cube through clenched teeth and even then the steadiness of them came and went. "I should have listened. I should have stayed. I am so damn sorry, Kaidan." The words were rushed and grew weaker as she spoke until she finished them with an abrupt silence that terrified him. "Our baby…gods, I am so sorry I won't hold it. I got it killed."

He didn't care. He forgave her. Anything. Just so long as she lived.

"If I could do it over again…gods, Kaidan, I'm so stupid." There was a long mumbling that he couldn't make out anything of except the word 'cold' and he shut the tube down. He couldn't. This was the last he would have of her and he would not let go. Would not let it finish. If the message finished, she would be gone and he was not ready for that. Would never be ready for that.

"Spectre Alenko." A gentle voice spoke his name and he was on his feet, the message tube jammed in his jacket pocket as he faced the salarian doctor.

"How is she?" The words were rushed and he cursed his inability to read emotional cues off salarian body language.

The doctor took a long, steady breath. "We have stabilized the blood loss and replaced as much as we can without endangering other parts of her biosystem. Quite frankly, we're surprised she isn't dead already. The damage done to her lower intestine track alone was enough to kill a normal human."

"Normal human." Kaidan repeated the words not certain if he should be celebrating or preparing a funeral rite.

The salarian shifted, his head tilting to one side as if too heavy for his thin neck to support upright. "Yes. There are many strange and fascinating upgrades to her biosystem that I have never seen…"

"Will she live?" Kaidan strangled the words out forcing his clenched fists to open.

"Oh, hmm." The salarian cleared his throat realizing this wasn't the place for a rambling discussion. "Yes. We have stabilized Commander Shepard. Because of the extensive…alterations…to her body we aren't sure how much we do is helping and how much is interfering. In fact, Spectre Alenko, there is simply a great deal about her body we do not understand and can only guess at how works. There are parts of her that are showing marked improvement, however. We believe that if she and the child can survive the next twelve hours the crisis will have passed."

Kaidan blinked again. "Child." He said and wondered if he'd lost all ability to articulate cohesive sentences.

The salarian smiled, the gesture nearly carving his head in half. "Oh, yes. That's one of the most fascinating aspects of Commander Shepard's body..."

He didn't hear anything after that. He hit his knees, curling in about himself as the sobs wracked his shoulders.

* * *

Her left arm was mostly numb.

What little she could feel was tingling and almost painful. Had she lost the arm? Too much blood gone for too long?

A ragged snore cut the thought off and she opened her eyes to stare down at the dark wavy hair she knew so well. Kaidan's head was cushioned on her left arm in what had to be a painfully uncomfortable position for him but it did account for the lack of blood flow that was causing the tingling numbness, sending a sensation of comprehending relief through her.

Huerta. Had to be. The smells, the noises, the damn window that looked out onto the Presidium with what seemed a total lack of privacy.

Memory returned with vicious, mocking clarity and she remembered why she had needed a hospital in the first place.

Her eyes closed, the tears leaking trails down her cheek and into her hair as she wished desperately she could sink down into the depths of unconsciousness again. She had messed up so badly. So _stupidly_. What had she been thinking? Kaidan had been right, she'd wanted to be out in the field again, be on the edge of life and death and work the miracle that brought everyone home. She'd wanted to remember what that was like because after the child was born she wasn't sure that would happen ever again.

Only now the child would never be born because she'd screwed up so damn bad.

And her crew…the men and women that had laughed and joked with her on the way out, kids barely old enough to drink who'd joined the Alliance because their best memories of the Reaper war came more from historical vids and vague childhood memories and they wanted to be like the Great Commander Shepard. Gone. Because of her _pride_ …

"Hey." A soft voice spoke in her direction.

Unwillingly she opened her eyes.

Kaidan was awake, his tired and exhausted features showing unfettered joy and love and relief as he looked down at her, smiling like she was the most precious, most beautiful thing he'd ever seen.

The slow leaking dam of her tears burst into a noisy, messy flood as she cried with a force that convulsed her torso and sent small, unintelligible squeaks from her mouth that even both hands pressed against her lips couldn't hold back.

"Hey, hey." He said again, shifting so he sat partially on the bed and tried to cradle her against his chest.

The unexpected pleasure of having him touch her again when she was certain he never would because she'd been such an idiot had her curving toward him, wanting nothing more than those strong arms to hold her and make everything better because she knew they could never be the same again.

"Soh…sorry." She sobbed in hiccuping breaths once most of the storm had passed.

She felt a small rumbling laugh. "You should be." He answered with a gentle voice. "You scared me half to death." He brushed back a fall of bangs over her eyes and smiled at her. "How are you feeling?"

She stared at him in disbelief. "Oh, I'm fine, Kaidan. Never better. It's been a fu…rickin' great day!"

Some of the worry cleared from his face and he laughed again. "There's my girl. And I meant are you having any pain? Are you hungry? Are you…"

"No, I am not fu…rickin' hungry!" She shouted at him. "Dammit, how dare you be calm and controlled and…and…" She lost the words scrubbing at her eyes. "I lost the baby…no, no, I did not 'lose' the baby…that implies I simply set it down and forgot where I put it. That son of a motherless whore shot me because he could see I was pregnant and he knew it would hurt and…" A sob robbed her of speech again and she just shook her head, not meeting his gaze.

Kaidan took both of her hands, gently pulling them away from her eyes. He used his own fingers to straighten hers until the palm was out and then pressed them down on her belly. The still curved, still obviously hard with pregnancy, stomach.

Her eyes popped wide in shock as she stared at him, her fingers convulsing over the mound in disbelief.

"She's fine, Kaet." Kaidan said nodding his head. "She came through this in better shape than you did."

"She couldn't have." The words were an instant denial but any conviction was undermined by a rising hope of belief. "He shot her point blank, Kaidan. I felt the pellet go in."

A sardonic glint of humor darkened his features. "Oh, it went in, alright. Just above the belly button and then sort of ricocheted up, then sideways and back shredding through your lower intestines. It nearly killed you."

Swallowing hard, her gaze not leaving his, she struggled to understand. "I have a bullet proof belly button?" She asked with uncharacteristic hesitation.

Kaidan gave a laugh that was almost too shrill, too brittle, shaking his head as he leaned closer and pressed his forehead against her own, suddenly unable to talk as that single show of unfettered emotion gave way to the flood of fear and grief and regret he'd been living with the last several days.

She felt the hot streak of tears that weren't her own as they flowed down her forehead and she finally pulled one of her hands from her belly to cup his head, their roles reversing as she now gave him comfort.

"I'm fine. I'm alive. The baby's alive." She murmured as he quietly fell to pieces against her. "I'm never going to do this ever again, I promise."

"Gods, Kaet, don't make promises you can't keep." He managed a laugh as he pulled back, pressing a kiss to her forehead before he straightened up completely. "Give you five minutes and you'll have figured out where you went wrong on this mission and how to fix the whole mess and do it right the next time."

She flinched. "Kaidan…"

"Just…don't, Kaet." He shook head with a weary sigh, his right hand scrubbing through his hair. "Not right now. I know this is part of who you are, just let me pretend I have some influence for the moment."

Not sure how to answer that…or even if it were in her best interests to, she licked her lips and turned the subject. "Was a bullet proof belly button part of who I am? Was that a Cerberus upgrade?"

Another short bark of laughter escaped him. "No, Kaet. It wasn't you at all, in fact."

Confused and starting to get a little angry, she narrowed her eyes at him. "Was it a secret? 'Cause I was there, Kaidan, and I can promise you there was nothing but two flimsy bits of fabric protecting me from that gun."

He sat down in the chair next to the bed. "Two bits of fabric and a biotic barrier."

Her gaze shifted to the side, sorting through her pain hazed memories. "Tilkin was a biotic, L9. He died in the first moments of the ambush. It couldn't have been him. Dustovick was as well, but she stayed on the Normandy. I'm not a biotic." Confused, her gaze moved back to Kaidan who was smiling, enjoying knowing something she didn't.

"You remember all the interference your gynecologist was having trying to get readings on the baby? We thought it was your Cerberus upgrades that were creating the dissonance?"

She nodded. "We couldn't even be certain of the baby's sex because the readings were inconsistent and contradictory and I wasn't going to let them run a bunch of invasive tests just to satisfy my curiosity."

"Well, _she_ was the interference." Kaidan stated, the smile becoming a smirk. "When she feels threatened our baby instinctively creates a very strong, very natural biotic barrier about herself. Fortunately for you both, it covers the entire uterus and much of the surrounding area. Not the lower intestine, however."

"She?" Kaet struggled, wondering which topic to cover first.

"She." Kaidan agreed with a nod. "She is a biotic. A potentially very powerful one."

Kaet blinked again. "I guess I better stop calling her BC, then."

"Or Rosebud since you no longer need to cover your bases with Rose for a girl and Bud for a boy." Kaidan advised in disapproving tones.

She looked at him. "You sound so much like your mother when you do that."

"In the immortal words of Commander Shepard…deal with it." He countered and then rubbed his face, the humor helping relieve the tension and fear of the last week.

"How can she be a biotic?" Kaet finally burst out in confusion. "We were very careful once we figured out I was pregnant. Biotics aren't an inherited trait…humans get it from exposure and we made very sure not to be exposed since you didn't want a biotic child."

A chancy smile wavered on his lips. "I've changed my mind on that in light of recent events." He lifted a hand and casually manifested a fistful of dark energy. "The problem is you _were_ exposed to eezo…mine."

Kaet shook her head. "It can't have been enough. Your super sperm that busted past a condom and got me pregnant could be completely full of eezo and it still wouldn't have made a bloody bit of difference."

"In a normal fetus? No. But we are talking about your offspring here, aren't we?" Kaidan teased and earned a dirty look from her. "The problem is I was already genetically changed in utero when my mother was exposed to eezo…I adapted the nodes necessary to assimilate eezo and manipulate biotic fields instead of a tumor or cancer or something. So my system was already…oh, call it sympathetic, to becoming a biotic. It embraced the change. That same sympathy was passed on through my genes to the baby."

Again she shook her head. "It still wouldn't have been enough. I'm not a biotic, Kaidan…"

"No, but you were genetically engineered with the potential to be one. A powerful one." He pointed out quietly. "Several of your crèche sisters were biotics, weren't they? You were simply never exposed in utero."

Kaet's open mouth slowly closed and she nodded her head.

He made a gesture with his hands as if that explained the matter. "It wasn't a single, big exposure to eezo, Kaet. It was a persistent and constant exposure to me."

"A biotic child." Kaet tasted the words, her eyes closing as she tried to absorb the fact.

"Don't worry about it, just worry about healing." He said rising from the chair to capture her nearest hand and give her a squeeze.

"Don't worry about it?" She repeated in stunned tones. "Kaidan, our baby has _biotics_. We have to figure out what implant is best. We have to worry about lawsuits from the families of people I've killed because they made bigoted insensitive comments or acts. We have to worry about school…"

"We are not sending her away." Kaidan spat the words out in a passion filled rush that surprised them both. Inhaling deeply he controlled himself. "Don't worry about it, Kaet. I called in an expert."

Relief crested on Kaet's features. "An expert on children with biotics? Is it an asari? I mean, you could start training little BC yourself, of course, but…"

"For the last time, don't call the baby that." Kaidan took the bait just to make her smile, which she did. "And no, she's not asari. She is, however, an expert in raising a biotic child." He headed toward the door and paused, grinning at the look of dawning horror on his wife's face. "My mother was very willing to take over the guest bedroom and help you with your recovery and the last trimester of the pregnancy." He stepped out, the door closing on her long, very profane answer.

Laughing, the relief of finally believing she would live, that she would be his Kaet, nearly making him giddy as he searched for the doctor to tell them she had managed to stay awake this time.


	3. Chapter 3

The day was appropriately rainy as seventeen honor cars passed before the long parallel lines of saluting Alliance soldiers toward the Seattle-Vancouver Alliance Memorial cemetery and waiting to be unloaded by an honor guard that would carry them to their final resting spots.

Kaet Shepard Alenko stood in full attention at the front of those lines where the cars stopped one by one, as their sad cargo was ceremoniously removed and lifted upon the shoulders of uniformed pallbearers. She wore full dress blues…a set specifically made to account for her growing belly…that was kept dry by the large umbrella Kaidan held solicitously above her head.

Moisture silently streamed from the corners of her eyes but she made no attempt to wipe them away or hide them from the pack of reporters busily assessing and erroneously interpreting her every gesture for their various audiences. Those who had died had earned her tears. Had earned her honor.

Gods, they had earned so much more but all she could give them now were her tears, her grief. Her silent promise to remember them.

"Kaet…" Kaidan said quietly as she swayed slightly as the fourteenth casket was moved to the internment mausoleum.

"I'm fine." She said and straightened even stiffer.

"My dad once told me those were the most dangerous words you could hear from a woman's mouth." He said shifting closer to her until her left shoulder was pressed full against his right.

"Don't." She warned him in a broken voice. "Not here. Not now." Her shoulders impossibly went back further.

"Not yet." He agreed quietly but didn't move away.

The seventeenth and final casket had scarcely moved past when her knees buckled slightly and she leaned against him.

"Are they cold? They can't be cold, they can't feel anything, they're dead, but what if they're cold? What if they don't like the dark? What if…" The words tumbled from her mouth and were muffled as Kaidan pressed her tighter against his shoulder. "I should have done more. I should have listened to you. If I had only…"

"Kaet, stop." He made a motion to two of his aides and a path quickly parted to the building where she would be hidden from prying eyes. Once inside he tossed the umbrella to one and motioned for the other to get their hovercar ready.

"There is so much I should have done differently. Said differently. I should have been smarter." She continued brushing impatiently at her eyes. "I used to come out of ops with all my people. What did I do wrong this time?"

Heart breaking, he pulled her close and simply held her. "Come on, I'll take you home."

She said nothing on the trip back to the house they'd chosen for proximity to the Alliance headquarters on Earth and the lack of proximity to her mother in law. The longer her silence lasted, the more concerned Kaidan became. His mother was standing in the kitchen as he pulled Kaet through on the way to the stairs to their bedroom and shook his head at her silent question before turning his full attention to his wife.

"I should have been wearing armor." She said suddenly, standing next to their bed but acting as if she were millions of miles away. "If I had been wearing armor I wouldn't have gone down so quickly. I could have stayed on my feet longer, found my Widow…"

"You have got to stop this." Kaidan took her face in his hands forcing her to look up at him. "Kaet, you can't change it."

"I can be better next time!" She snarled jerking away from him. "I can make sure this doesn't happen ever again."

"You can do that by not going to Khar'shan ever again." He answered angrily.

Guilty, she looked away from him.

"The fuck you say." He snarled in a rare show of profanity. "Kaet Alenko, you are not…"

"The mission wasn't…"

"You nearly died!" He roared at her. "You nearly got our baby killed! You think I'm going to sit idly by while you give them a second chance? Are you out…"

"Kaidan." Anne Alenko's quiet but firm voice cracked across the room. "Why don't you go downstairs and amuse your father for a bit."

Jaw clenching, he glared at his mother and then his wife. "I am going to have a calm, rational discussion with my clearly insane wife and resolve this first."

Kaet tossed her head, short hair flying as she glared up at him. "I have never quit a mission, Kaidan! Never! I am not about to start now."

"You have been out of Huerta for a week, Kaet! You barely managed to stand through the procession because your broken leg still needs time to knit and you want to go on a road trip?" His voice didn't lower in volume any. "Exactly how many more people are you planning on getting killed beside yourself and our baby?"

The color seeped from her face but she stepped closer to him, her eyes intent with fury. "I learn from my mistakes, Kaidan…"

"Clearly not." He cut her off. "If you want to reclaim the batarians as a viable species, Kaet, I'm all for it. Let them come here, to the Citadel, instead of you going to the ass end of civilization…"

"With what?" She snarled back. "The Reapers decimated their technology and killed almost everyone who knew how to run it. They barely have the wheel, let alone spaceflight!"

"Then send the Normandy for representatives." He tossed in return. "There is no reason you need to go to Khar'shan again…and certainly no reason you need to do it pregnant!"

"I have to do this now!" Kaet shouted at him. "Before this thing decides to spawn and I become nothing but a walking food source!"

Stunned, he stared at her. "What?" A multitude of expressions flashed across his face as he tried to absorb what she'd said. " _What?_ "

Sighing, she shook her head. "I didn't mean that…"

"You said it, Kaet. You meant it." He cut her off. "You don't want this baby?"

"Not if she's going to turn out mean like you!" Kaet snapped back.

"Okay, that's the bell for separate corners." Mrs Alenko literally stepped between them. "Kaidan…"

"Why didn't you say something about this before?" He ignored his mother, staring at Kaet.

Kaet rolled her eyes tossing her hair. "Because you wouldn't understand! You get to be who you are whether or not this baby comes, Kaidan! I don't! I have to be a completely new person and I don't want to be a completely new person, I want to be me and lately I don't even know who that is anymore!"

The confusion in his expression began to share space with frustration. "What are you talking about? You're you, Kaet! Gods, I've never met anyone as sure of who they are as the Great Commander Shepard is." He put a snide tone in her name that had her eyes narrowing.

"That's exactly why I didn't tell you! You're a stupid …gah… man with fu..rick…dam… _stupid_ man thoughts that doesn't have a boulder sitting on his bladder for nine months!"

"You're not making any sense at all!" Kaidan shook his head.

"That's because the baby is eating her brain and you both need to step back and calm down." Mrs Alenko advised.

Wide eyed, Kaidan stared at his mother. "Holy shit, it's contagious."

"I told you he swears, too!" Kaet said to her mother-in-law with sweet viciousness glaring at him.

"Don't even start that." Kaidan warned her.

"Enough." Mrs Alenko took her son's arm and escorted him to the door. "Go to your father. You can both complain about women and wives to your heart's content."

"This hasn't resolved anything!" He resisted even as he allowed her to move him.

"And it won't until you're both less emotional…"

"With her hormones that is never going to happen!" Kaidan snapped.

"Me?! My...you…your…hormones!" Kaet shouted in disbelief. "Your stupid…man-cooties…"

"Man-cooties? You are…"

Mrs Alenko shut the door in his face.

"Your son is a pigheaded jackass!" Kaet declared crossing her arms over her belly.

"Rather makes him a perfect match for you, doesn't it?" Mrs Alenko responded in mild tones. "Your leg is spasming, you might want to sit down."

Kaet crossed the room, stopping in front of the carved wood rocking chair she and Kaidan had spent hours picking out when they'd first learned she was pregnant. For a long moment she stared at it and then burst into tears.

"That is a part of being pregnant I will never miss." Mrs Alenko sighed and helped Kaet sit down.

"I hate it!" Kaet rasped in an almost demon-like snarl. "I used to never cry! I used to never yell at Kaidan and now this baby is taking over completely and I'm never going to be the nice, normal me again and Kaidan is going to divorce me because I'm insane and the stuff that comes out of my mouth isn't the same stuff that's going on in my head and I can't seem to stop it and…"

"Take a breath." Mrs Alenko advised handing her a tube of water. "Take a drink and take a moment."

"I want ryncol." Kaet sulked taking a drink of water. "I've never had ryncol and I'm pretty sure it will kill me if I drink it, but I want it."

Mrs Alenko sat on a nearby stool and waited until Kaet had finished most of the tube, simply calming her with silence.

"He won't ever understand." The older woman finally began in her usual even tones. "It's different for men and as much as they try, as much as they think they do, they can't. They can't understand what it's like to have the things you say, the things you do, seem as if they're coming from a complete stranger with your face and body because of hormones that won't level out no matter what vitamins or exercise or doctor's recommendations you take."

"Yes!" Kaet exploded the word with a seizing gesture.

Mrs Alenko studied her only daughter-in-law carefully. "You should consider cutting Kaidan some slack as well."

"He started…"

"I would prefer never to have a video call like the one he had with me telling me that you were expected to die, my grandchild with you."

Swallowing hard, Kaet looked away, her expression full of regret and remorse.

"You're a very intelligent woman, Kaet. It's one of the things I've always admired about you. You're also very stubborn and I have come to tolerate that aspect of your nature." Mrs Alenko paused and completely ignored the black look the other woman sent her way. "Which is why I'm going to assume it was the stubbornness that drove you to act in such a way."

Kaet closed her eyes and gave a small shake of her head. "You wouldn't understand."

"Wouldn't I?" The question was dry. "It's never easy having a strong willed daughter-in-law, but when she is also a woman known as a living legend throughout the known galaxy, it makes things even more complicated. Your birthday is a holiday that millions of different beings in several different species celebrate annually. I've seen traffic jams created by you walking down a street simply trying to do a bit of window shopping and those who owe their lives to you, who all but worship you, stop just to talk to you, touch you."

A faint shudder of revulsion shifted Kaet's shoulders.

"Yes, I've seen how much you dislike the attention. I waited, watching for all the accolades and adoration to change you, to become something you crave." Mrs Alenko studied her bowed head until Kaet looked up, her gaze almost fearful of the next words that would come out. "As far as I can tell, the only thing you crave is my son…and truly tasteless, formless clothing."

Biting her tongue, Kaet took a long sip of her water.

"I think you were much happier being a nobody soldier that simply went on missions and did her duty to the best of her ability." Mrs Alenko continued.

A fierce expression of agreement crested Kaet's features but she didn't speak.

"I think, Kaet, that this is something that will not change simply because you are stubborn and willful. I think this is something that you must accept the change of in yourself."

"I don't want to change!" Kaet rasped out, but the words were more broken than fierce. "I want to be me… _Commander Shepard_! I want to be the one who is in control and knows what her next move is and knows how to engage the enemy and come out victorious! I don't want to be _Mommy_ Shepard! I don't know how to be!" She slammed the tube into the recycler. "You want to know what I know about babies and children? Not a fucking thing. I don't know how to change a diaper! I don't know the correct temperature for baby's milk! I don't know if you should swaddle a child snug so it feels safe or if you should let them be free because they don't like to be constricted! Gods, Anne, and the baby…she's _biotic!_ I don't know how to raise a biotic child! Kaidan didn't want a child with biotics. He didn't want them to go through what he did and what if BC turns out like me instead of him? Can you imagine someone like me with _biotics_?"

Mrs Alenko blanched. "I'd rather not."

"Thank you!" Kaet tossed her hands. "My point, exactly!"

There was silence for a moment as Kaet gained control of herself again.

"BC?" Mrs Alenko asked. "You've chosen a name for the child?"

Kaet flushed. "No…it's just a…nickname." Quickly she moved on from that subject. "I can't do this, Anne. No one sane would allow me to be their mother."

The older woman nodded thoughtfully. "What is the correct temperature for baby's milk?"

There was an explosion of tossed hands. "There wasn't a right answer!" Kaet snarled in outrage. "Some said body temperature, others said lukewarm to warm and even others said cold! Someone even said let the baby tell you…how in the name of all that is simple and sarcastic is a damn baby supposed to tell you what temperature it likes its milk? There are no translators for baby babble! I _checked!_ "

"And diapers?" Mrs Alenko prodded gently.

"Oh, my fiery Hell…do you know how many different types of diapers there are?" Her voice rose in pitch. "Scented, non-scented, organic, luxury, dry, leak proof, potty training, designer…I had more selections for diapers than I do mods for my Widow! It's a just a damn cloth to keep baby shit from getting everywhere and there are _thousands_ of them!"

"It sounds as if you've done some research…is that how you became the Great Commander Shepard?" Mrs Alenko questioned and Kaet narrowed her eyes.

"If I have one more Alenko calling me the 'Great Commander Shepard' in that tone of voice again there will be very bad words said."

Pausing with surprise, Mrs Alenko laughed softly. "I was actually being sincere. It seems you can't be just Commander Shepard anymore. Your legend won't let you." Some of Kaet's anger faded. "But you weren't always Commander Shepard. Who were you then? Before there was a Great Commander Shepard."

Kaet gave a snorting laugh. "A stupid kid who didn't know anything but how to survive."

"Do you think that if someone had told that stupid kid with a knack for surviving that one day she would save billions of lives she would have believed them?"

Kaet's gaze narrowed again. "You're doing that thing again. That twisty thing."

Mrs Alenko simply waited, watching her.

"She…I…probably would have either not believed them or crapped my pants." Kaet finally answered.

"Your deliberate coarseness aside, I believe that's what you're doing now." Mrs Alenko pointed out with peaceful humor.

For a long moment Kaet was quiet, looking past her mother-in-law to a wall that was painted two different colors because she'd decided in a fit of panic the baby would hate the first one and that would make the baby hate her and it needed to be completely redone so the baby didn't come out a mutated monster of rage.

"I liked being the Great Commander Shepard." She finally said, her eyes growing wet.

"Are you so sure you won't like being Mommy Shepard?" Mrs Alenko rose from the stool and gracefully headed toward the door. "Think about it, Kaet. You couldn't have predicted who you were going to be then, what makes you so sure you can do it now?"


	4. Chapter 4

Kaidan looked up as his mother entered the room and crossed his arms over his chest. "Is she human yet?"

His mother arched and eyebrow at him and gave him a look that had him flushing and muttering something indistinguishable under his breath.

"Fine. So I should go apologize to her now and get it over with?" He demanded with ill grace.

The expression on his mother's face didn't change but she did look over at his father. "What have you been telling him?"

Ken Alenko gave her a beautiful smile. "Just how wise you are, my dear."

A small snorting laugh eased the severity of her look and she turned her attention to Kaidan once more. "What exactly would you be apologizing for?"

"Apparently for thinking that her second trip to Khar'shan is a bad idea." He exploded tossing his hands in the air.

"Hmm." His mother elegantly crossed the room to settle on the wide couch. "I don't even think your Kaet would argue that it's a poor move."

Kaidan gaped at her. "Were you not just there during that conversation?" He asked, the words starting out heated before he reminded himself that this was his mother and he'd better watch it.

A soft smile curved her lips. "That wasn't a conversation, darling, that was two stubborn people trying to outshout each other." He opened his mouth to respond but she wasn't finished. "Don't try to tell me you were in the right and winning, Kaidan. When the name calling starts no one wins."

"She started it." He muttered as anger gave way to exasperation. "Why doesn't she understand I'm just trying to keep her safe? She nearly died! Again!"

Mrs Alenko slipped her shoes off and tucked her feet up under her. "Why don't you understand how scared she is of being out of control and messing this up and that she's doing the only thing she thinks keeps her in control?"

Once again Kaidan simply stared at his mother, confusion rumpling his forehead. "What? Scared? _Scared?_ Commander fucking Shepard has never been scared of a damn thing in her life!"

"Kaidan Kenaan Alenko." His father said in warning.

"Sorry." He mumbled in his mother's general direction.

"I doubt you're completely correct, but I'll let the generalization stand for the moment." Mrs Alenko answered settling comfortably. "I can see how Commander Shepard wouldn't let the fear show, if it existed. She would act and react and defuse the situation with the tactics and skills she has spent a life time of war honing."

"Yes, thank you!" Kaidan jumped on the words. "Exactly what I'm talking about."

"Yes, dear, except we aren't talking about Commander Shepard, we're talking about Kaet."

Kaidan's eyes widened as he slowly blinked at his mother in disbelief. Finally he tossed his hands again with a wordless noise and shoved out of his chair. "I need a drink."

"Oh, good. I'm sure your father wouldn't mind having one as well and since you're up…" Mrs Alenko gave him a beautiful smile.

"I must have been out of my head to think having you here with my wife was a good idea." Kaidan muttered but headed toward the kitchen anyway. "What would you like, Mom?"

"Same as your father, please. And to your other point…you were terrified. And you thought I would side with you and that would make Kaet easier to handle." The smile didn't lose its charm under his glare. "Excellent plan. Poor execution."

Kaidan disappeared into the next room before he said something that really got him into trouble.

He took longer than was needed, filling a platter with fruit and cheese, using the time to consider how Kaet was acting and what his mother was trying to tell him. Finally he returned to the sitting room and set the platter on the coffee table before taking a seat across from his parents and leaning forward.

"Okay. I'm ready to listen." He said in slow, deliberate tones.

Mrs Alenko looked at her husband and sighed softly before returning her attention to her son. "One of your wife's most admirable traits and biggest faults is her lack of ability to compromise. As a soldier, the attitude is responsible for many, if not all of her victories. Failure was a compromise she was unwilling to make so victory became hers and lives…an entire galaxy was saved. As a woman, a wife, it's one of her most frustrating traits and not just for you, Kaidan, but for herself as well. All or nothing. Everything in or go home. No half measures."

Kaidan frowned. "She's always been that way, Mom. Nothing's changed. I don't understand."

"What kind of mother do you think she will be, Kaidan?" Mrs Alenko asked softly.

For a moment he paused as a slow smile curved his lips. "A wonderful one. Most people don't get to see her…the softer her. She holds nothing back when she allows herself to love. She found out the baby is a biotic and her first instinct was to protect and care for her. She's already threatened to shoot people who treat the baby badly." His shoulders lifted and fell in a helpless, loving shrug. "You should hear her trying to modify her language because she's worried the baby will learn to swear in utero."

"A very valid concern." Mrs Alenko said with a deadpan humor while Ken hid a laugh behind a fake clearing of his throat.

"Don't start on her, Mom." Kaidan said with weary tones. "She's trying."

"Yes, she is." Mrs Alenko agreed, her brown eyes gazing at him. "She's been researching how to be a mother. Diapers, feeding and other things as well I'm sure, since I can't imagine her doing anything half way."

A faint frown touched Kaidan's mouth. "She didn't say anything, but I'm not surprised. Knowledge is the ultimate power in Kaet's world."

"Because if she knows it, understands it, she can control it." Ken offered wrapping an arm about his wife, a shrewd smile on his lips.

"She's never been a mother before." Mrs Alenko prodded gently, her gaze never leaving the thoughtful expression on her son's face. "What she knows best is…"

"The Great Commander Shepard." Kaidan finished the hanging sentence before scrubbing his hands over his face. "Does she think this is any easier for me? I've never been a father before…and quite frankly right now the thought of a biotic daughter that is a stubborn as her mother is terrifying. I don't know if I have the strength to handle both of them."

"You'll find the strength." Ken entered the conversation again, a smile so much like his son's lifting a corner of his mouth. "You won't know where it's coming from or how much there is, but you'll find it. The alternative will be unacceptable to you."

Kaidan was quiet a long moment, considering the advice. "How do I convince her not to go to Khar'shan again?"

His mother shook her head slightly. "You can't. She's convinced this is her last hurrah before her lack of ability to compromise puts the Great Commander Shepard away forever in favor of Mommy Shepard."

Kaidan sunk his face into his hands.

"You can go with her." Ken pointed out. "I doubt she'd object to that."

"Right now she and I can't even be in the same room without fighting, Dad." Kaidan's frustration and unhappiness was clear in the troubled look on his face.

"There's always sex." Mrs Alenko pointed out.

Kaidan closed his eyes. "Oh, this is a conversation I never wanted to have with my mother." He mumbled to himself.

"Don't knock it, son." Ken laughed. "You think you're the only who's ever butted heads with a stubborn woman?" The expression his wife favored him with wasn't quite a warning, just a mere caution.

"You love each other. You both are unhappy with the anger between you and neither of you knows how to fix it without bending your pride." Mrs Alenko continued the thought. "If you can't speak without arguing then remind yourselves of that love by touching."

"That doesn't solve anything." He objected shaking his head.

"No, but there is a promise involved in touching…the right sort of touching." Ken surprised him by continuing. "The promise to try. To try to work it out. To try and see the other's point of view. The vow to not give up or give in but to keep trying because what you are together is worth it."

Kaidan studied his father for a long moment, considering the words before his gaze moved to his mother and back again. Ken nodded.

"Loving a stubborn, strong woman can be the most wonderful thing in the world." His father said with a laugh as he wrapped an arm about his wife. "It can also be the most frustrating, infuriating, drive you to drink experience you will ever have. You just remind yourself that it's worth it. You remind yourself of who you are when they two of you are together and how strong you are."

"And how alone you are when you forget to be a team and instead try to fix everything on your own." His mother agreed leaning closer to Ken.

"When Kaet gets scared she retreats. She hides behind her walls and tries to force or manipulate everything to be the way she wants it to be." Kaidan murmured more to himself than his parents. "She tries to fix everything the way she wants it fixed because that's the only way she knows how not to be scared again."

"Being Commander Shepard is safe and comfortable for her. She knows who she is when she is the Great Commander Shepard. She knows how she's supposed to act and react and what to do." Mrs Alenko prodded him a bit further with the idea. "Being a mother is a new and scary change for her…and she does not react well to change of this sort."

"No, she freaks out and stops talking." Kaidan gave a soft laugh as he ran a hand through his hair. "If our wedding day didn't teach me that, nothing will."

"Well, think of how she was then and then toss in a bunch of hormones, mix well, and you'll have your wife's present state." Mrs Alenko watched her son. "You need to know something else as well, Kaidan. Part of why she's picking a fight with you."

"Guilt." Kaidan said the word quietly and almost smiled at the surprised look on his mother's face. "It's been years since she lost members of her squad to enemy action. She's forgotten how she dealt with it. How the war forced her to deal quickly with the pain of knowing she wasn't good enough to bring everyone home. There wasn't time to properly grieve and when the war was over there was too much to celebrate and rebuild. So she picks a fight with me because if she's mad she doesn't have to be sad over the soldiers she lost."

"There's more, as well." Mrs Alenko continued after his words had trailed off into a thoughtful peace. "In the past she's survived because of skill and dumb luck and she has always completed the mission assigned. There was none of that this time. She survived because 17 men and women laid down their lives to make certain she survived. They died for her, Kaidan, and she knows it."

His gaze snapped toward his mother, narrowing in swift comprehension. "For her. Not the mission." The idea gained solid belief as he spoke the words aloud.

"It's why she has to finish this, Kaidan. Not just to accomplish the mission…but to make the lives lost worth the cost."

Kaidan nodded his head, his attention more on the floor as he sorted out the thoughts. Finally he rose to his feet and crossed over to his mother, pressing a kiss to her forehead and hugging his father. "It's a good thing I have such smart parents."

Ken laughed. "Don't worry, son. Someday you'll be in our place while your children fight it out with their significant others."

A beautiful smile creased Kaidan's lips. "Someday Kaet's going to have a daughter or son-in-law that is exactly as stubborn and willful as she is."

A more feminine version of that same expression curved Mrs Alenko's lips. "I so look forward to that day." She said with a heartfelt sigh that could almost have been called glee.


	5. Chapter 5

Kaet was laying on their bed on her side, her back to the door in her usual position when Kaidan entered their room. She wasn't asleep, he could tell. Mainly because of the lack of snoring, but also by the immediate tension that seeped into her shoulders and spine.

Before his startled eyes a blue black mist began to rise from her middle section. A barrier. The baby was reacting to Kaet's increased stress level.

Sighing he rubbed the back of his neck, debating on whether or not he should leave. Eventually he decided not to. The child would need to get used to strong willed parents, he mused as he carefully stripped out of his formal Alliance Uniform tossing the bits and pieces into close proximity of the laundry bin. A well worn and comfortable t-shirt slid over his chest before he tugged on an equally comfy pair of lounge pants leaving his feet bare as he finally crossed the room to his side of the bed and climbed on.

Without a word he shifted closer to her, his palm cupping first her hip and the smoothing over to the blossoming mound of her stomach. A smile touched his lips as the misting presence of a barrier pressed against his fingers tentatively.

"Strong. Like her mother." He spoke without thinking, a soft laugh balancing the words.

Tension seemed to seep out of her as she relaxed into his touch. "Her father is no slouch in that department, either." She answered quietly.

"I guess we should start thinking of girl names." He said as she shifted her body so she was laying back, slightly elevated, against his chest, her head tucked against his neck.

"Kaidan, I'm sorry." The words were rushed out. "I hate it when we fight. I hate it when it's my fault. When…when I was bleeding out on Khar'shan, when I thought I was going to die and I needed to tell you goodbye, I kept thinking if I could take it all back, I would. I wouldn't let you walk away angry. I'd try and listen. Then the first thing I did was start yelling at you again."

"I told myself if I'd approached you differently, if I hadn't ordered you about, maybe you'd have listened to what I was saying." He stroked her hair above the closest ear back, tucking it behind. "Believe me when I say I'd rather have had you come home with an 'I told you so' rather than sit next to you in Huerta wondering if you'd ever yell at me again."

"I'm not sorry I went." She finally said after a quiet lull. "I'm sorry that my crew died. That I nearly died. That I scared you…I wish I'd been smarter. Planned better. But I'm not sorry that I tried. I have to try again."

He froze for a long moment, his breath shallow and the biotic barrier about Kaet's stomach seemed to grow more intense. "Can I ask you to wait until after the child is born?" The words were carefully neutral carrying nothing of what he might be feeling or thinking.

"It has to be now. Before the baby comes." She turned to him. "This is the last time, Kaidan. My last mission for the Alliance. For the Council."

Brown eyes stared at her. "Why, Kaet? Why does it have to be the last time? I don't want you to feel trapped. To feel you have to give up being a soldier. You don't have to. With both our schedules, we can easily care for the baby and still work."

She shook her head. "No. I won't do that." Still shaking her head, she turned her back to him once again.

"Kaet, why? I need to understand this and I don't." He shifted her until her back was against the headboard of their bed and then sat in front of her, facing her. "Why do you have to give up being a soldier? That's what you love."

For a long breath she wouldn't meet his gaze, simply staring down at the bedspread, her fingers plucking at the hem of her shirt.

"Kaet, please." He persisted. "I can't come to a compromise if I don't understand what you want."

"I will not be less than I am. I will not be divided." She finally whispered. "I will not be distracted. Distraction gets soldiers killed." She lifted her head, finally, her eyes wet though no tears fell. "If I hadn't been so angry at you, so determined to prove how wrong you were, I would have been more cautious around the batarians. I would have realized that they weren't there to parlay. I would have ordered the retreat that my instincts told me I should. But I had to prove I was right. That I was still the Great Infallible Commander Shepard. I ignored them and people died who shouldn't have. I put my relationship with you above the mission. I can't do that again. Never again."

Kaidan frowned at her. "Kaet, this is new for both of us, being parents. But a child doesn't mean you can't be who you are. You can still…"

"I spent most of the mission to Khar'shan wishing I was with you. I planned out exactly how I was going to rub your nose in the fact you were wrong and I was right only I'd be humble about it." For a moment a ghost of a smile curved her lips only to quickly disappear. "I wasn't thinking of what I needed to do for the mission. I was thinking about how right I was and how not right you were."

He sighed. "It was one mission, Kaet. A bad mission. There's nothing to suggest another…"

"Kaidan, I don't want to be a soldier anymore." The words were whispered and she wouldn't look at him.

Stunned. Confused, he stared at her bent head. "Kaet…"

"I saved the damn universe, Kaidan. Honestly, how do I top that?" Again she tried humor and again the emotion failed her. "I knew when I accepted the mission to Khar'shan that it would be the last one. Not because of the baby, but because I was…bored." She gave a shrug. "Because there was no challenge anymore. And because I didn't see them as big a threat as the reapers, they almost killed me. They did kill the soldiers who were following me, trusting me to make the right decisions because I was the 'Great Commander Shepard'." Tears slowly leaked from her eyes. "I screwed up, Kaidan. Bad."

"Kaet, be fair to yourself. This was the first dangerous mission you'd been on in six years. Everything else was exploration or diplomacy. Of course your skills would be rusty. A little bit of practice…"

"Kaidan, no matter how much practice I have, no matter how many missions I go on, I'm still going to have soldiers that can't speak when I'm in the room. That immediately assume anything that comes out of my mouth is the wisdom of the gods and refuse to question it." She ran a hand through her hair. "You weren't there, Kaidan. You weren't the voice of reason that didn't care about my reputation or my ego or my skills. The voice of dissent that challenges my plans not because you think they're bad, but because you want to make sure I've considered all the angles and left myself a way out."

"I should have been there…" Kaidan agreed only to be cut off as she scoffed at him.

"Was that really all you heard out of what I said?" She tossed her hands. "Kaidan, I'm not the same person I was when we took on the Reapers. I don't even know when I changed. The baby…being a parent was just the whole thing coming to a head. That part of my life is over."

Relief showed on his face. "So you won't go to Khar'shan…"

She made a strangled, frustrated noise. "I am going. I will finish my mission." She smacked a hand on the bedspread.

Closing his eyes, Kaidan carefully began to breathe through his nose almost, but not quite controlling the mist of blue/black that rose about him. "Kaet, I appreciate that you are trying to talk to me. I do. But I am not understanding a damn thing you're saying." He took her hand, determined to keep some kind of connection between them. "Why can't you be a soldier anymore?"

A faint smile cut through the tears and misery on her face. "Because I love you and our baby more. I miss you when I'm not with you. Even when you're driving me nuts and I'm mad at you. I miss dancing with you in the middle of the kitchen even when it makes the dinner burn. I miss you waking me up in the mornings with a kiss. I miss falling asleep on the couch with you while you're watching men with brooms sweep ice."

"Hey, curling is a long and noble tradition of my people." He countered moving closer to her.

"I'm not the same woman I was when you and I first stepped onto Eden Prime for that scouting run with Nihlus and Corporal Jensen. I'm not even the same woman who rallied the civilized species of our galaxy and sent them after the reapers." She stroked her finger across his calloused palm. "I was a soldier first back then. Everything was directed toward winning and that's _why_ I won. I wasn't divided, I was a soldier, first and foremost. Now…now I'm not. I'm a wife. I'll be a mother soon. My priorities have changed."

He took that hand and pressed her palm against his cheek, simply looking at her.

"If it were different…if I had fewer options, less choice, I would stay a soldier because I am very good at it." She tilted her head. "If some big bad like the Reapers were to appear tomorrow, I would be the first one signing up for the battle because I have something to protect. But there is no big bad and I do have options. I can stay here with you. I can watch our baby grow instead of maybe missing the first steps or the first birthday and I can start teaching her to say 'Grandma's _really_ old' the way I want to."

He laughed and pulled her close. "Mom says she can't wait until you have a daughter or son in law that is exactly like you."

"Your mother has never liked me." She retorted without heat or even a real belief in the words. "I'm an all or nothing girl, Kaidan. I always have been. Only now my all or nothing is being a parent and a wife."

"No." He shook his head looking at her. "Kaet, I love you, but if you try to quit being a soldier in some cold turkey like fashion, I'll end up killing you myself. You'll be impossible to live with." She opened her mouth, but he wasn't finished. "There's also the fact that the Alliance needs what only you can teach, Kaet. You are an incredible soldier. You can assess a battlefield in moments and plan the best way to deploy your troops. That is knowledge that needs to be passed on." He shook his head at her. "You can't stop being a soldier, Kaet."

"Were you not the same man that yelled at me…" She began in heated tones.

"Oh, I'm all for you not taking anymore missions to dangerous places where people want to kill you." Kaidan cut her off. "But being an instructor? Passing on your unhealthy love of destructive weapons to poor unsuspecting greenies in the Alliance…that is something that you can and should do."

She blinked at him, her anger dying. "You mean that, don't you?"

"There is a lot of room between all and nothing, Kaet." He said quietly. "You can't stop being something you love. Not for me. Not for our baby. We can work around it together and find a compromise you can live with."

The tears and misery began to clear from her face. "I can take the baby to classes or to the shooting range."

Kaidan's eyes widened. "Now, I wasn't advocating…"

"She'll be fine and I can even use her in civilian hostage extraction lessons." She was nodding, becoming excited by the idea.

"Kaet, there are perfectly good nannies and child care experts…"

"It would also help hone her biotics, too. This is perfect."

Kaidan let himself fall back on the bed, giving up. "I should have kept my mouth shut."

She laughed, a sound he hadn't heard in far too long, and twisted until she was mostly on top of him, struggling a bit to accommodate her belly. For a long moment she simply looked at him, a half smile on her face that was matched by the adoration in his own as he placed his hand on the round curve of her belly and felt their daughter start to kick.

"I have to go to Khar'shan." She said quietly after a long quiet lull. "Will you please come with me?"

The adoration in his smile faded to resignation and then firmed to determination, his eyes never quite leaving hers. "Yes." He answered lifting a hand to cup her cheek. "In fact it might be some time before I let you go alone anywhere dangerous…like, say the Presidium…for a while."

"And you won't keep quiet if you think I'm making a bad decision?" There was a hint of hesitation in her voice now, an uncertainty that was nearly painful for him to see in her.

"Kaet, there are those who think I'm a living legend not because I come home and sleep with you, but because I have survived having you yell at me and even, on occasion, taken my life into my own hands and argued back." He countered and she smacked his arm while laughing.

"The one thing that kept running through my mind was that I wouldn't have messed up so badly if I'd had you by my side." The words were soft and hard to hear and she ducked her gaze away from him through most of them until he turned her head to look at her. "I was stupid, Kaidan. I'm sorry."

"I shouldn't have let you go alone. Especially not angry." He brushed her bangs out of her eyes. "No matter what we fight about, I will always stand by you."

She gave a quick nod, a hint of color rising on her face to show how uncomfortable she still was after all this time with such deep emotion. Determined, though, she leaned forward and pressed a kiss to his lips before pulling back, her mouth curving in a wide, mischievous grin that instantly had him on his guard waiting for whatever she was going to do.

"So we call the baby BC, then, right?" She chirped in an overly happy tone.

Kaidan gave her a dramatic groan. "We are not calling our child Broken Condom, Kaet. She's gonna need enough therapy lessons with us as parents without adding that little gem to the pile."

"We will also not be starting her name with the letter J or anything that sounds like it." Kaet agreed laying down on him, her cheek against his heart. The position wasn't comfortable, not with her stomach in the way, but she wanted that connection and the discomfort wasn't bad right now.

"We could name her after my mother and that could buy you some good will for a week or two." Kaidan grinned already knowing what that answer would be.

"Hell, no." Kaet responded in blunt terms. "The last thing I want to encourage our children to do is act like your mother."

He chuckled stroking a hand up and down her spine, his expression showing how much he loved the feel of her this close to him. "You say that but we both know that you're taking notes so you can be exactly like her when you reach her age."

"Hah. I'm not waiting that long." Kaet snorted.

"We wait too long and you'll be giving birth to our baby on Khar'shan." Kaidan ran the palm of his right hand over the hard mount of her belly. "I need a week to make arrangements, but I'd like to have Khar'shan done and in the past before she's born."

Kaet smiled and gave a single nod. "I love you, Kaidan." She didn't say the words often…not from lack of feeling them but rather from feeling they lacked in describing just everything that she felt for this man.

His expression curved with the delight and joy of hearing them as he leaned closer and pressed a kiss to her lips. "I love you, too."

The discomfort of her position finally made her unable to stay where she lay no matter how she wanted and she twisted ungracefully trying to find another way to rest her body and still stay close to him. Kaidan sat up, propping her against his chest once more as she sighed, rubbing her belly.

"A girl." She finally said looking down at the mound. "Hunh. Amber Marie will be pleased. She wanted BC to be a girl so she could pass on all the fun things I taught her."

Kaidan laughed. "She visited while you were in Heurta. She couldn't stay…her Marine troop was headed to Tuchanka as part of a cultural exchange. She'll take leave after the baby's born and stay with us to help you out for a bit."

Kaet perked up. "That would be great! She has…what? A million siblings? She'll know what to do with a baby."

Kaidan pressed his lips against her ear. "You'll be a great mom, Kaet."

A huffing snort blew from her nostrils. "Sure…once BC gets old enough that I can teach her how to shoot a sniper rifle." A sad flicker passed over her face. "I miss my Widow." She'd lost her long favored and beloved weapon during the attack on Khar'shan and the rescue team had been too concerned with getting her and the dead off planet to even consider that it might be missing.

"There goes your lovely plan to pass down your favorite gun like an heirloom." Kaidan said in commiserating tones that held only a trace of irony.

Another snort, this one of derision, puffed from Kaet. "Hah. I was planning on being buried with it." She retorted and then they both went still as the reality of how close that had come settled over them.

Kaidan pulled her close, his grip a little tighter than was usual, his face hidden as he buried himself against her hair.

"I'm…" She began but a sudden tightening of the grip cut her off.

"It's done." He mumbled against her hair.

Kaet let the subject drop. The peace between them right now was more important than bringing up Khar'shan again.

"Soooo….what do you think of Irmenghardia for a name?" She asked in light tones.

An explosive laugh ruffled the hair on her neck. "I thought we were saving that for our first boy?"


	6. Chapter 6

The quartermaster on the _Normandy_ had looked at her as if she were insane when she asked what armor they used for pregnant women. Frowning at him…usually a gesture that got her what she wanted and _now_...didn't seem to help and Kaet began to wonder if she were losing her touch. She also began to reach for the handgun carried awkwardly at her hip.

"You won't need armor, you'll have me." Kaidan told her in pointed tones earning the eternal gratitude of the soldier who quickly found something else to do now that Commander Shepard was distracted.

"I'm thinking worst case scenario here, Kaidan." Kaet argued crossing her arms over her belly…which immediately put pressure on her bladder and made her need to pee. Irritated she removed her arms. The need to pee didn't go away.

"I'm already waaaaay ahead of you on that one." He grinned at her and began tugging her toward the elevator. "I called in some favors from some friends of mine and they'll be running guard duty while you play nice with the diplomats." Requesting the command deck he immediately used the close quarters and lack of other people to pull her close and put his hands on her.

The frown on her face cleared up immediately. "Some of your SpecOp Biotic soldiers?" She asked with interest. "I've never seen them in action in real life. Just vids of you working with them in training."

"Just some guys I know. Some girls, too." He said deliberately vague as the elevator began to slow as they reached the deck they wanted. "I really miss the slow elevators. All the times I could ride with you and didn't dare stand any closer because you were a superior officer were torture…now I can touch all I want and the damn elevators are FTL."

Kaet copped a generous squeeze of his closest butt cheek. "You can make it go all the way up for a longer ride."

Grinning, Kaiden pulled her as close to his body as her stomach would allow and kissed her. "That's what she said."

Snorting and laughing, Kaet smacked him on the arm even as he kissed her again, the doors sliding open.

"Oh, hey, the fraternization rules have gotten really lax since I was last aboard the Normandy." A deep voice full of humor bantered from the CIC deck. "Good thing, too. There's this cute little engineering chick I would love to get stuck in an elevator with."

Kaet tore herself away from Kaidan. "James!" She shouted the name with glee turning toward him only to have her eyes widen and her mouth drop further. "Kasumi? Jacob, Samara, Liara, Garrus, Miranda, Tali, Grunt…WREX!" She had been waddling her way to the crowd before her only to shriek her glee and toss herself into the large scarred Krogan's arms.

"Shepard." The deep rumbling tone held a definite note of glee.

"Just some folks I know." Kaidan grinned at the way his wife was moving through the crowd trying to touch everyone at once, her eyes wet.

"Geez, Shepard, are you _crying_?" The mock horrified voice broke through the rest of the greetings as a slender figure limped forward. "There's no crying in the Alliance Marine Corps!"

Shepard made a chuffing noise as she turned to him, wiping at her eyes. "Joker." The name was laced with affection and tolerance. "I thought someone had killed you by now for mouthing off."

"And take on this lady?" He jerked a thumb toward the lanky form behind him. The skin was flesh toned, the eyes brown and hair a color of blue never found in the human genome…but then, EDI had never been human even before the advancement in her mobility. "Never gonna happen. Besides, I just tell 'em, yeah, I'm _Commander Shepard's_ Joker and then they run away. Sometimes there's even screaming."

"Hello, Commander Shepard. You appear to be in the final stages of gestation." EDI gazed at the protruding stomach. "Are you well?"

"Is that what that is? I thought she'd just had a big lunch." James smacked Kaidan on the shoulder. "Good job, man."

Kaidan gave him an amused look. "Actually, she did all the work."

"You asked them to come." Kaet moved next to her husband, her eyes shining as she looked up at him.

He smiled taking her hand. "When the woman I love insists on being a bonehead and going back into a dangerous situation that nearly got her killed in the first place, I insist on only the best to be at her back." He pressed a kiss to her forehead.

"I love you, too." She said wiping at her eyes. "It is so good to see you all again."

"Not all of us." Garrus said in low, controlled tones. "Zaeed finally met a match he couldn't walk away from."

"Jack's mental deterioration escalated to a full coma. Per her living will request, she was denied life prolonging treatment and died a relative peaceful death not long after." Liara added.

Kaet nodded, the grief flashing over her face. "I remember seeing her at Dr Chakwas' funeral. She wasn't doing so well even then."

"Hey, they lived good lives." James broke in, his voice holding the rare sincerity he often declined to show. "They lived long enough to die peacefully…well, except Zaeed…but they died free and clear. That's a good thing."

Kaet swallowed down her emotions and sent a mental note to the baby she carried to knock off the tear flood and then smiled. "We'll drink to them. All of them. Thank you so much for coming." She turned to Kaidan. "I will thank you later."

He grinned. "Yes, you will."

* * *

There wasn't any armor made that would accommodate her growing stomach, but the trip to Khar'shan gave her and James Vega a chance cobble something together that would provide her with protection. Satisfied that she would have more protection…particularly over her baby…than she had last time, Kaet's biggest regret became her lost Widow. She tried several other sniper rifles but didn't find one that suited her. Not even the current model of her favored Widow. The sights were based on a new tech that almost made her needing to aim obsolete and that had her scowling with dissatisfaction and feeling almost offended that her own skills weren't needed. She finally settled on one that came close to almost feeling alright and figured if the persistent itch that it wasn't her Widow didn't go away, she'd just settle for using her handgun. Maybe an assault rifle.

"Hunh, seeing you without your sniper rifle is almost like seeing you naked." James commented joining her near the weapons rack.

"No, it isn't." Kaidan responded with amused authority as he watched his very pregnant wife take a weapon and begin to break it apart, trying to get a feel for it.

"Well, it's as close as I'll ever get." James retorted with a laugh.

"True." Kaidan agreed and Kaet favored them both with an un-amused look. "Careful, Kaet, you're actually touching a shotgun and we all know how you feel about those."

James faked a cough. "Weaponsnob."

The expression on her face could have curdled milk as she picked up the weapon. "None of these feel right. They're not my Widow and if it doesn't feel right, I might as well be using this thing." She mumbled breaking open the barrel to inspect it.

"Hunh." James studied her for a moment. "Are you going to use it to shoot or just club people to death with it?"

Thoughtfully, Kaet studied the weapon and then turned her gaze to James' head as if assessing the matter.

"I would have thought bein' a mom would have chilled her out a bit." James moved closer to Kaidan.

"Are you kidding me? She has a spread sheet of all the bad words she's allowed to say during labor because she says it's expected of her and has told me I can't get after her for any of them." Kaidan snorted. "She also researched on whether just pulling my hair out during painful contractions was allowed or if blood should be drawn."

Kaet scowled. "I never did get a definitive answer on that one."

James blinked several times looking back and forth between the two as if undecided on whether or not he was being teased.

"Is this kid going to be an only child?" He finally asked, uncertain.

"Only if labor goes more than eight hours." Kaet answered in flat, determined tones.

Kaidan smiled at her knowing exactly how serious she was before turning his attention to James. "We're having trouble coming up with girl names. You have any suggestions?"

"James." He said instantly.

"Not a girl's name usually." Kaet answered but her expression was distracted as if she were repeating the name, trying it out to see how it felt.

"It will be after you use it. You remember the whole pink wedding armor thing, right?" James retorted. "Your wedding date is still the most common date to exchange vows after Valentine's Day…and some years you even beat it. Guess that's a good way of never forgetting the anniversary."

"You could name the kid Wrexina." A rumbling voice joined them as the large krogan moved toward them with the grace that was so strangely characteristic of his race. "Xina for short."

"Xina the Space Marine." Kaidan was already shaking his head while James snorted.

"I always thought you'd name your first after me." Garrus joined the discussion moving toward the sniper rifles. "Maybe Garrilous for a girl."

Kaet began to laugh, a sort of snerking snorting sound that had the turian studying her with concern. "She could be a garrulous Garrilous." She said and began to giggle.

James was grinning, too. "Hell, why stop there, man? You can call her Garrilicious."

"A garrulous Garrilous Garrilicious." Kaet sniggered her way through the sentence, her arms about her stomach as her amusement had her tilting to the side.

"No…and don't think I don't see you trying to figure a way to sneak that past me because you have a strange and unnatural sense of humor." Kaidan stated, his words belying the grin on his lips as he looked at his wife.

"A garrulous Garrilous Garrilicious Grunt Wrexina." Kaet retorted before losing it completely and laughing.

"Gotta get James in there somewhere." The large man said, contemplating.

Garrus looked back and forth between the two. "I still like Garrilous." Which sent Kaet into a fit of giggles again.

Kaidan shook his head at his wife, but his expression was full of humor. "If you name her after one of your crew, you either have to name her after all of them or have enough kids to carry each name. Consider that, don't you."

Kaet sobered for a moment and then started sniggering again. "Garrilous Garrilicious Grunt Wrexina Jamicina Mirandalous…"

"Just stop." Kaidan ruthlessly suppressed his own laughter. "She gets named BC before we slap her with that monstrosity."

"BC?" James grinned, his eyebrows rising slightly. "Little too much information there, isn't there?"

"We want to be completely honest with the child." Kaet managed and then was giggling again.

Kaidan sighed and rolled his eyes. "At least this is better than her crying all the time."

"Jokericinalicious…" Kaet managed before giggling took her over completely and she had to sit down.

"Are human females always like this when gestating?" Garrus asked, his tone a bit unsure as he studied Kaet.

"Better than what krogan females do." Wrex said and motioned to a patch of scars on his neck. "There's a reason I'm off planet each time a clutch is due."

"I'd like to be off this planet before this baby is due." Kaidan stated in firm tones crossing his arms over his chest. "Last time they nearly killed Shepard. This time if the batarians haven't come to parlay, we put them down hard and quarantine the planet. On Council's authority."

"We have to give them a chance…" Kaet's humor was gone as she looked at the grim and angry faces about her.

"No, actually, we don't." Kaidan cut her off. "They had one, they tried to kill you. They try the same thing again, we're done. We kill every batarian we see and then we get out and we kiss Khar'shan goodbye. Maybe with the thanix cannon."

James blinked. "Fifteen years of marriage and now he's the bloodthirsty one?" He said in a side voice to Garrus.

"Shepard has always had an influence over the people she's around." Garrus answered in prosaic tones.

A rumbling laugh shook James' broad shoulders. "That kid's gonna be hell on wheels, then."

"She's biotic, so yeah." Kaet answered and picked up her hand cannon before strapping it to her thigh and then an assault rifle to her back.

"She's going to need someone to watch her back." Wrex mused with a deep growl. "I have a couple of daughters that would be excellent at the task. They're almost as good as I am."

"My oldest boy could use tutoring in which weapons are superior." Garrus agreed. "He has this strange idea that sniper rifles aren't effective as a weapon of war. He might actually listen to you about the matter."

"She'll strap him to the target board and shoot at him to prove it, you know that right?" Kaidan pointed out and Kaet snapped her gaze toward him with an expression that said she was filing that idea away for later implementation. Groaning, her husband shook his head and stepped closer to the group. "We're all here and we're all going so this is how we play it. Kaet is the last person off the shuttle…"

"Now…" Kaet opened her mouth to argue and Kaidan simply covered her lips with his palm.

"James, I want you to stick close to her. Something looks suspicious, you get her out, no questions." Kaidan winced and jerked his hand away as Kaet glared at him and clicked together the teeth she had just used to bite him with. "Garrus, find a nice spot to cover us with. If you see something suspicious, kill it. Wrex, Grunt, I want you out front. Your barriers are the strongest and you can take a lot of damage and provide cover if we need to get her out quickly. Miranda, Liara, I want you with me. We'll start negotiations. Kasumi, you can use your cloak to move between the ambassador's party and let us know if they have any plans to start another blood bath. You hear something, you sing out. Our priority is to keep Shepard safe. Secondary is to reach a peaceful accord with the batarian representatives."

"What am I supposed to do?" Kaet demanded in irritation. "Stand there and look pretty?"

Kaidan gave her an exasperated look. "Of course not. You'll stand there and help our baby grow. The pretty part you can't help, it's just natural."

She narrowed her eyes at him.

"I packed you a snack bag." He held up a strapped messenger bag.

Like Pavlov's dogs, her attention zeroed in as her stomach growled. "What did you pack?"

He handed the bag to her.

"Questions?" He asked the group at large who were making no attempt to hide their amusement. "Good. Let's go."


	7. Chapter 7

She stopped talking as the shuttle hit atmosphere and didn't notice Kaidan's concerned look. Too focused on the memories of another shuttle and another group of soldiers carrying them down to the planet, she began reviewing Kaidan's orders testing them, trying to get a sense of whether they were good or if she was going to get another team protecting her killed.

The baby kicked viciously, drawing a hiss and a glare from her mother.

"Holy crap, your armor plate just jumped." James said, his stunned gaze on her abdomen. "Please tell me you are not in labor."

In another place, another mood, she would have responded to his plea with a tease and a laugh. The memories were too oppressive and she shook her head.

"No, little Vulgaria is just getting her exercise." Her attempt at a smile was wan and soon faded.

"Oh, my mother will love that one." Kaidan drawled.

"That moves it to the top of the list." Kaet again tried for humor but just as quickly was staring at the bulkhead of the shuttle.

Giving up on teasing her out of her mood, Kaidan simply wrapped an arm about her shoulders and pulled her close to lean on his chest. "I would say you don't have to do this, but I know you too well." Even that confidence in her couldn't shake the silence she was surrounding herself with. Finally he sighed and tried one last time. "Talk to me?" The words were less a request than a plea and she blinked focusing on him.

Long ingrained, old instinct had her begin to shake her head but she stilled and was thoughtful for a long breath. "I am terrified." She laid bare the words that twenty years ago she would have suffered torture before uttering. "I got my last team killed, Kaidan. I can't lose you. Or them." She motioned to the rest of the shuttle, the men and women who had followed her into the heat of battle so long ago and helped her save their galaxy.

Kaidan gave a soft laugh, grinning down at her. "Shepard, you have never let a single one of us down. You took us to hell and you brought us back."

"More than once." Garrus agreed.

"Some of the best fights of my life." Wrex agreed with a rumbling laugh.

"It's batarians." Grunt stated in arrogant dismissal.

"Exactly." Miranda stated in tones that were almost bored. "Hardly a real challenge."

"Yeah, what happened to the good old days when you'd take us up against scary enemies, Shepard?" James demanded in a tone full of humor.

Kaet couldn't help smiling back. "If I'd know this was what it would take to get all of you together again, I would have attacked the Citadel myself." She retorted.

"I have plans that would make taking over the Council possible in six steps." Liara commented and then frowned at the expressions sent her way. "What?"

"Six?" Miranda said with curiosity. "I was only ever able to narrow it down to nine."

Shepard laughed and then stood, carefully balancing her body in the shaking shuttle. "Thank you for coming. For being part of this with me. Kaidan's plan is a good one…but it's not what we're going to do." She sent an apologetic look her husband's way.

A slow smile began to curve his lips.

"Miranda, you and Liara will be the first off the shuttle and spread out left and right. You'll immediately place a biotic shield over the entrance." Shepard looked to each one briefly, gaining their nods of agreement before moving on. "Grunt, Wrex, you're next. Front and center. Nobody approaches the shuttle without going through you first."

"No one goes through me." Grunt stated with a little laugh.

"Kasumi, Tali, I want you both to stay in the shuttle, but use its eyes and ears and keep scanning everything in a 50 meter radius. It moves or breath, you need to know if it's a threat." Another nod. "James, Garrus, you're behind me. I want you close and stick with Kaidan's plan. If something goes south again, your priority is my…" The words stuck for a moment and she cleared her throat. "Your priority is my extraction. I'm not up to fighting strength. I don't have my Widow. I'm a liability. If there's fighting, we bug out."

Wrex gave an audible cough.

"After we kill as many of them as we can." Shepard corrected herself and he nodded, smiling.

"And where do you want me?" Kaidan asked, his expression actually showing proud pleasure as he gazed down at her. "Safe on the shuttle?"

She laughed. "No. I want you at my side."

"Always." He promised with a nod as the shuttle bumped down.

"We are here to talk." Shepard spoke to the group. "But we will fight if needed. Thank you for being the best damn team I could ever hope to command. Now let's show them why we are."

* * *

There were no visible weapons on the group of batarians that greeted them this time. There were only six and they were spread out facing the shuttle, some of them obviously nervous by the way their bodies were twitching.

"Have you come to shoot or talk?" Commander Shepard demanded all but stalking off the shuttle, her chin lifted as her voice carried about the small docking pad that had seen better days.

"We've come to discuss the terms of our surrender." An older batarian female with scarred feature and a missing eye stepped forward. "We didn't know what they planned last time, I swear."

"Who are you?" Shepard demanded tilting her head to the side, ignoring the comment about surrender for the moment.

"Kahalak." She answered with more weariness than pride. "I lead what is left of a once great and proud people."

"A once great and proud people that enslaved and preyed on any other race they came across." Shepard retorted in icy tones.

"Diplomacy is usually more diplomatic, Commander." Kaidan said in a quiet voice drawing Kahalak's attention.

"The diplomatic Commander Shepard bled out on this planet a couple of months ago." She snarled back, her eyes narrowing but never leaving Kahalak's. "Now you get the pissy one."

Kahalak swallowed hard and nodded as if accepting that this was their due. "We did not know what Masktar had planned, Commander. I swear it. We need the help of the Council…"

"We?" Shepard cut her off, her voice icy. "The deaths of seventeen men and women that came to this backwater planet for a mission of peace tells me there is no 'we' for the batarian people." She stepped closer to the barrier being maintained between them.

The older woman snarled and stepped closer. "There is now. I will drag my people to peace kicking and screaming if need be. We are dying, Commander Shepard. In no small thanks to you."

"Thanks to me?" Shepard scoffed. "I warned you. I warned everyone about what was coming. The others races ignored me…you, the batarians, you _invited_ the Reapers in! I ordered the deaths of nearly a quarter million of your people to slow the reapers down and I am _done_ with any guilt over that act. You brought this on yourselves. Now you decide if you are going to grow up or die out."

Kahalak seemed to shrivel and looked away. "We…beg for the aid of the Council."

"Prove it."

"Kaet…" Kaidan said quietly, his voice holding a faint caution.

"I am not sending another team to this planet to die." Shepard tossed her head, her hair flying about the dusty wind, the words more for the man at her side than the woman standing opposite her. "I will not risk the life of even one member of another race to see the batarians live. Whether they live or not has to be their decision."

"We are willing to offer ourselves as slaves…"

"We don't do slaves and you are wasting my time." Shepard turned sharply on her heel, wobbling slightly as the weight of her belly slid her slightly off balance. "We're done. They aren't worth our effort…"

"No!" Kahalak shouted the word racing to the barrier to slam her hand against the edges. "We need you! My people are dying, damn you! We won't survive another ten years…"

Shepard turned back toward her, a wince slipping over her features before hard anger cleared the pain. "Prove to me that…"

"I can't execute the traitors that tried to kill you!" Kahalak shouted. "We need them! We needed the diversity of their genes if we're going to survive. I can't afford to lose any others! There are less than 200,000 of us left, Commander! Please!"

Shepard raised an eyebrow. "So you do know he was the one who shot me. Who tried to kill my unborn child."

" _What?_ " Kaidan demanded as one of the batarians in the back made a guilty start.

"His name is Lantar." Shepard's gaze moved to the bruised man wearing bandages and trying to slide behind one of his companions. "He lost his entire family when I destroyed the relay. He told me that right after he shot my belly."

"You fucking son of a bitch…" Kaidan stepped forward, his fists clenched as the batarian shoved his way forward.

"If the Council truly wanted peace they would have sent anyone other than that butcher!" Lantar shouted back as two of the group grabbed his arms holding him back. "She ordered the deaths…"

"I ordered no one." Shepard snapped back. "My actions are _my_ actions."

"Gun!" Wrex shouted as the assault rifle on his back smoothly moved to his hands.

James grabbed Shepard, literally tossing her into his arms as he began to make his way back to the shuttle, Garrus moving between them and the peace party as a blatant shield.

"No! It's a gift! It is hers!" Kahalak shouted holding the long black weapon up. "We want peace! We must have peace! On any terms! PLEASE!"

"James…" Shepard her gaze zeroed on the sniper rifle she could barely see through those guarding her and tapped his arm twice before getting him to pause in the shuttle doorway.

Kaidan was still glaring at Lantar, daring the other man to make a move even as Kahalak shoved the familiar weapon toward the barrier. "Kaet, it's your Widow." He called back over his shoulder.

Shepard winced as James carefully put her down once more. "Is it damaged?"

Kaidan carefully closed his eyes rather than risk the batarians seeing him roll them in exasperation. "It's probably booby trapped."

"We'll have to risk it." Shepard said without a moment's hesitation.

"'We'?" Kaidan repeated in disbelieving tones turning slightly toward her.

"It isn't!" Kahalak said in pleading tones shoving the weapon toward them. "We will have peace. On any terms. We need your help."

Shepard's gaze moved from the weapon to the woman holding it. "Slavery is done. You take slaves, even among your own people, and the support of the Council will cease."

Kahalak gave a weary sigh. "There aren't enough of us to waste in such a way, Commander Shepard."

Stepping forward, Shepard buckled slightly and winced shaking her head as she regained her balance and waved off the looks of concern James and Garrus sent her way. "The Council will send teams in to assess and to address health and education issues. I will recommend that an armed guard accompany them as well."

"Will you lead them?" Lantar snarled at her. Kaidan made a jerking move of his hand the batarian flew through the air smacking against the dilapidated building more than fifty feet behind him.

Shepard looked to Kahalak again. "No. I asked to be part of the initial contact because I believe your people need to be given a chance to survive." Her gaze moved to Lantar's groaning form. "It was to satiate my pride and it cost the lives of seventeen men and women who wanted nothing more than peace with you. If you want to kill me, you'll have to work for it now. Once I kick the dust from this planet from my feet, I am never coming back again."

"Only the foolish want your death, Commander. They are the only ones who think more death will give them peace." Kahalak raised both hands, palms flat, the Widow resting easily on them. "I am not a fool."

Shepard stepped forward, stopped to breathe through her nose, mouth closed as an intense look narrowed her features and then nodded. "Liara, I need you to work as liaison with Kahalak. You know the terms the Council is offering and you're neutral enough to make sure the batarians aren't signing over their firstborn to get what they need."

"Of course, Shepard." Came the response from the shuttle.

"Wrex, I want my gun back." Shepard continued through gritted teeth as a hand curved over her stomach.

"Oh, shit." James said quietly at her back. "I was right, wasn't I?"

"At the time, I didn't think so." She managed as sweat began to bead on her forehead. "Now, I am certain."

"I want the man responsible for nearly killing my wife." Kaidan overrode any further conversation, his hard gaze on the batarian struggling to his feet.

"Kaidan…" Shepard began in consoling tones.

"No. You don't get your way this time. He nearly killed you." Kaidan snapped back as both of his fists flared with a blue black mist as he glared hate at his target.

"I am guilty of the deaths of his loved ones." She responded, the consoling tone giving way to irritation.

"You may be, but our daughter is innocent and he tried to murder her first." Kaidan stepped through the barrier his sole focus on the batarian who was defiantly staring back at him.

"Kaidan, your daughter is trying to be born right now and I will be damned if she is born on this godsforsaken hellhole called Khar'shan." Shepard rasped and went to one knee, palm flat on the ground as a spasm of pain raced over her face.

Kaidan whipped about staring at her. "No." He stated in flat, immediate tones. "No, you agreed that we would be home before she was born, Kaet." There was outrage now, that she would not keep her part of the bargain.

"Tell that to the little demon trying to kick her way out of my gut." Kaet hissed back. "Kaidan, I am done here. Liara can take over. The rest can stay here and guard her. I want to go home."

He was at her side in an instant, scooping her up in his arms as he made his way to the shuttle. Liara smiled as she exited the craft.

"Name her after me." She said before turning her attention to the batarians.

"Get us back up to the Normandy, Joker." Kaidan snarled toward the cockpit as he settled Kaet into a less than comfortable seat.

"No!" Kaet suddenly screeched grabbing Kaidan's upper arm in a painful grip. "My Widow! I want my Widow!"

"Oh, for the love of…" Kaidan began his head already shaking in a negative that was making her angry.

"Got it." James ducked inside handing the dusty weapon over laughing as Kaet immediately cradled in her arms, fingers running over the outside searching for damage. James just shook his head and ducked out before the door on the shuttle shut.

"Really, Kaet?" Kaidan managed, his patience completely gone wobbling slightly as Joker took off.

"I thought it was gone forever." Kaet glared back at him hugging the weapon. "I need a cleaning kit."

Kaidan stared at her for a long moment and then tossed his hands. "Do not talk to me right now." He paced a small circle.

"Can you get me a weapon cleaning kit while you're not talking to me?" Kaet asked glancing over at him. The expression on his face had her stilling completely, just watching him and the red flush that started up his neck and rose over his face.

Carefully she set her long lost weapon on the floor next to her and put both hands over her stomach. "Would it help if I…"

"No." He stated in flat tones slamming down into a seat across from her and crossing his arms over his chest glaring at her.

She winced, her belly shuddering and rubbed the curve.

Kaidan was immediately by her side. "Do you need a blocker? How fast are they coming? We should get your armor off and see how far you're dilated." He immediately began stripping the armor parts she and James had cobbled together off her.

"I'll be fine. Joker will get me to the Normandy…" Kaet abruptly stopped and tears filled her eyes. "Doctor Chakwas won't be there." The words were almost a whimper. "I want her to be there."

"Hey, hey." Kaidan brushed at the hair on her forehead. "You personally picked Mordin's niece for the Normandy. She's a good doctor. You'll be fine."

"We don't even have a name for her!" The tears were gone and replaced by panic. "She can't come if we don't have a name for her! She won't like not having a name! She'll think we're terrible parents and hate us!"

"She won't hate us." Kaidan laughed.

"No." Kaet shook her head and began to struggle to stand. "No, we're not doing this. We're not ready, we don't have a name, we aren't home. Your mother isn't even here!"

Kaidan didn't even try to hide his smile. "I'm telling her you wanted her with you while the baby was coming."

Kaet looked horrified. "You can't do that! You're supposed to be on my side!" Another wince had Kaidan taking her hands.

"I am, Kaet. Always." He pressed a kiss to her forehead. "Yours and little whatshername."

The shuttle door opened and a med team dashed in cutting off any response she tried to give. Kaidan didn't let go.

Six hours later their daughter was born.

* * *

"You should be sleeping."

Kaet turned her head and smiled with tired joy at the sight of her husband cradling their tiny daughter in a chair near the bed in the Normandy's captain's cabin. "Baby hog."

He laughed and looked down at the sleeping baby. "She's perfect, Kaet. She looks just like you."

"I thought of a name for her." Kaet said quietly not trying to move, simply content to see the two she loved best in the world so near her.

"Vulgaria is out." Kaidan grinned at her. "Doesn't suit her at all."

Kaet chuckled and then her smile softened. "You and I had a lot of firsts in space. I first met you on the Normandy. The first time we kissed and made love. They first time we fought." She shifted, groaning slightly as parts of her tugged painfully. "She was born here, on this ship. Possibly even conceived here."

"Normandy." Kaidan said quietly, tasting the name as he gazed down at the sleeping baby. "I like that."

"Good. That's that." Kaet's eyes closed again. "Normandy Garrilous Jamicina Wrexina…"

"We name her that and the next one gets named after my mother." He responded in dry tones.

"I thought about doing what your parents did with your middle name." Kaet continued, more asleep than awake. "Combine our names. Somehow Normandy KaKa Alenko just doesn't have a ring to it."

"No." Kaidan agreed and lowered his head to brush the soft skin of his daughter's face with his nose. "But Normandy Kaetayne Alenko does."

Kaet smiled and slid peacefully into sleep.


End file.
